Good Relationships..

exist.

In my previous post, I mentioned that my breakup really affected me. As dramatic as it may sound, at the time I genuinely felt hopeless - some people might think it's ridiculous but honestly it's quite valid. Breakups suck. In fact, any loss of someone (or something) that matters does. Anyway, in my slump, I had lost hope in love, both in terms of giving and receiving it. I was exhausted. For many years of my short life thus far, I was in love. Or at least what love felt like/meant to me back then.

If there were anything that I regret, it would be making this idea of love take up so much of my existence for those years. I mean sure, I still focused on my own life and all, but I'd made that relationship the bulk of my life and it influenced and affected my feelings towards almost everything I did, intentionally or not. Granted we were young and dumb but that’s definitely why I fell as hard as I did when it ended. Unfortunately, I was in so much pain back then I failed to see that love did actually still exist. It always has and always will. It was only when I decided to confide in people properly and "find little things" that I started realising this.

I first told one of my closest friends - at the time she also felt like one of my only friends cause she was the only other person I talked to more consistently besides my ex. I remember FaceTiming her and trying to hold a smile or something and she and her sister did their best to console me (thx jia-sisters <3). It took me a while after that before I told my family - I never really like to confide in them because they weren't big on me being in a relationship at that age in the first place + I don't like worrying them at all. To my surprise (and although I could kind of sense the relief in their energies LOL), they were more empathetic than I thought they would be. Sure some of the things they said were still tough to hear then but I could tell it was out of love. Slowly, I told more people that I trusted and was exposed to even more love from everyone - for which I'm so incredibly lucky and grateful. My family and friends really took care of me. They checked in on me, listened to me, offered me advice, brought me treats and did so much more to help me keep going.

That's what changed my perception on love. It's so much more than a romantic relationship. Love is multi-faceted. It exists in the form of family, friends, oneself and even strangers. You don't have to look or try too hard to find it either cause love is always around. It's shown when someone asks you if you've eaten, when they say they saw something that reminded them of you, when they remember little things about you, ask you to hang out, try to make you smile and so much more. Love roots for you and supports you unconditionally. It pushes you to be better and helps you up when you're down.

Another thing I've learnt is that everyone has different capacities and different ways of showing love. Some tease and poke fun, others show tough love while some are gentle and etc. I used to struggle to understand this and felt upset when I thought I wasn't receiving enough love. Now, I recognise and appreciate different forms of love and it makes my heart full. So, I'm no longer heartbroken about my ex-relationship, in fact, I am grateful for it because it made me appreciate all the other relationships I've maintained and forged since - I think they're genuinely good ones too.

Apart from receiving so much love, I am very giving too. I am concerned for others and genuinely want the best for them, especially those close to me, of course. I am thoughtful, giving, patient and have a habit of putting others' needs first (this might not always be the best thing but I'm usually happy when other people are happy - side note, I should work on doing it only when it matters but.. it's okay I guess hahaha). To be honest, I may not be the best at anything else, but I'm pretty good at loving. If you're anything like me, you might feel like that's nothing very special and could possibly even be a flaw sometimes but it's important to remind ourselves that the world always needs more love, so we're alright :)

Anyway, here's a collage of (most of) my loved ones as a mini appreciation post for them because they have truly helped and contributed to so much of my happiness and I am eternally grateful <3

Sometimes love hurts, but love always heals.

THANK YOU for reading up to this point if you have. I hope it was an enjoyable read and that you'll maybe stick around for another. Follow me on Instagram @aishaashraffx and TikTok @aish.y if you'd like to be more updated too :) Anyway, I appreciate the visit and wish you well!

Yours truly,

Aisha Ashraff